Methods to Heal Autoimmune Hair Loss

“You have been taught that there is something wrong with you and that you are imperfect, but there isn’t and you’re not”

Cheri Huber

The last couple of months we discussed the book, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. He explains that people of modest IQs can outperform and achieve better health than those with high IQs if they are more self aware, have more self discipline and more empathy. This month we’ll look at the importance of empathy and how this applies to autoimmune health and specifically to alopecia.

As I researched this topic, I was a little confused as to how having empathy toward people would result in healing alopecia.  However, the focus of the empathy is on ‘self empathy’ in this case, not on having empathy for other people.  We are not talking about feeling sorry for yourself because you have an autoimmune condition (that is sympathy and we simply aren’t going there), or wearing your illness and making it a part of who you are, or in some cases just making it who you are.  It is about seeing yourself through kinder, more caring eyes, which is something that many of us have a lot of trouble doing.

Most people, unless you are a sociopath or psychopath, feel empathy toward others – if you see a girl fall off of her bicycle, you might be likely to help her up and ask if she is alright.  Similarly, people send money to charities and organizations to help people in need of food, shelter and water, because we can’t imagine life without those basic necessities. It makes us uncomfortable to see people suffering because it part of being human to feel one another’s pain.

Some of us, particularly women, are constantly caring for others, whether it is our children, an elderly parent, our work, we are simply compelled to help out, often at our own expense. Could you be drawing on and depleting energy from yourself in order to heal or assist others? No amount of selflessness or generosity is going to return you to a state of health if that same energy and intention is not first placed on yourself.

Applying Self Empathy

Self empathy is a powerful healing process that reveals necessary insight to heal wounds from the past that continue to negatively impact our interactions with others and or affect our health. The practice of self empathy is a simple process with remarkable results.

• Stop the self doubt and self criticism – yes you have less hair than other people but how in your mind, does this make you less of a person?
• Honor your feelings – you feel unattractive, shame, guilt or whatever the emotion is – ask it what it is telling you and attempt to turn it into something positive or do something to turn it in to a positive.  
• Ask yourself what you need – a friend, a hug, a holiday, a hot bath and then indulge yourself, assuming it is a life-promoting indulgence. One woman was feeling so bad about her appearance that she stopped socializing and wanting to go out at all.  She decided to find a hair solution that would work for her (she ended up with a hair piece and not a wig that looked close to her own hair) so she could resume her life with as much normality as possible.

Remember the old saying – “You are no good to anyone else unless you are good to yourself first”?  So don’t put off your own needs because you are so busy fulfilling or putting other people’s needs first.  Learn to say no to others more often and yes to yourself more.  I know it isn’t what we were taught as children, and certainly women are going to find this more challenging.  Ask yourself – “What part of myself have I most denied?” and then go there and nourish it.

“Change can happen, but it must start with self-acceptance”

Alexander Lowen

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